THE UGLY DUCKLING SYNDROME

Well, here I am - back again. It's been an amazing few months and 2010 is going to be the best year ever. This past week-end I had the opportunity to meet with nearly 180 world shakers, all of whom are community leaders, or business leaders, church leaders, et al; and all of them pioneers. Men and women who are igniters of good, and people who challenge the status quo. I had the chance to chat with a few of them and an interesting theme emerged in the engagements that I had. Much of the talk was about how self-identity influences personal action and how it impacts on one's destiny. I thought that I'd share a little with you.

How many of us remember the story of the Ugly Duckling? Herebelow are a few excerpts from this famous fable by Hans Christian Andersen:

"Did I count the eggs wrongly?" Mother Duck wondered. But before she had time to think about it, the last egg finally hatched. A strange looking duckling with gray feathers that should have been yellow gazed at a worried mother. The ducklings grew quickly, but Mother Duck had a secret worry.

"I can't understand how this ugly duckling can be one of mine!" she said to herself, shaking her head as she looked at her last born. Well, the gray duckling certainly wasn't pretty, and since he ate far more than his brothers, he was outgrowing them. As the days went by, the poor ugly duckling became more and more unhappy. His brothers didn't want to play with him, he was so
clumsy, and all the farmyard folks simply laughed at him. He felt sad and lonely, while Mother Duck did her best to console him.

"Poor little ugly duckling!" she would say. "Why are you so different from the others?" And the ugly duckling felt worse than ever. He secretly wept at night. He felt nobody wanted him.

"Nobody loves me, they all tease me! Why am I different from my brothers?"

However, by springtime, he had grown so big that the farmer decided: "I'll set him free by the pond!" That was when the duckling saw himself mirrored in the water.

"Goodness! How I've changed! I hardly recognize myself!" The flight of swans winged north again and glided on to the pond. When the duckling saw them, he realized he was one of their kind, and soon made friends.

"We're swans like you!" they said, warmly. "Where have you been hiding?"

"It's a long story," replied the young swan, still astounded. Now, he swam majestically with his fellow swans. One day, he heard children on the river bank exclaim: "Look at that young swan! He's the finest of them all!"

And he almost burst with happiness.

You could check out the youtube link ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lapDmCnZN3A) out to hear the story (if you've forgotten it).

Think about the following:
1. Do you feel different to those around you? How does that make you feel about yourself?
2. Do you know who you really are? (Not your name, or your title or your functionality, but who YOU are)
3. Are you conforming to somebody else's definition of who you are?
4. Is your environment shaping you away from who you really are?
5. Is what you are doing currently a reflection of who you really are or are you fulfilling somebody else's agenda?
6. What defines you right now?
7. Why do cows "moo" and dogs "bark"? (What kind of a question is that?)
8. What would you say about a cow that barks?
9. Are you purpose driven or need driven?
10. Do you work for money?

Where have you been?????????????????

This is not an intellectual exercise nor an attempt, from my part, to present any theoretical framework related to self-identity. My objective is simply to get you to think critically about who you really are and to allow you to check if what you are doing is a reflection of your true self. And have fun doing this!

Why would you want to do anything that does not add value to your real self and to your destiny? No it's not being selfish. Your greatest contributions to others and to mankind in general will emanate from you being true to who you really are.

Post your comments, thoughts, etc.